Warped feminine energy, and how it came to be
Where did the embodiment of the warped feminine come from, and what does it look like?
We can sense the dominant paradigm shifting, the feminine is rising and we in turn are being called to embrace our feminine. So many of us are hearing the call, and we can see it: more female leaders in positions of power, change-making global movements like #metoo, and a receptivity, a greater appreciation and acceptance for women to be equally important in the world.
The feminine is rising. But what does this mean to us as individuals? What does embracing the feminine mean for me, for you?
First, let’s clarify what we mean by the feminine energy. Feminine and masculine energy is not gender-specific, instead it refers to the intangible, but intrinsic traits and values that lie on two opposing ends of an energetic spectrum. Regardless of our sex and gender identification we embody both the feminine and masculine energies but at varying degrees, changing at different times in our lives, or in different situations. Look to the female corporate leaders (working in their masculine) versus the nurturing Mum that arrives at the end of the day (now in her feminine).
Female vs Male Energy
The feminine energy is the heart-led, ‘being’ energy, soft and flowing, dynamic, diffused. While the masculine is the mind-led ‘doing’ energy, linear, competitive, success-driven. Read my previous blog post on embracing our feminine energy for more. To reiterate the masculine paradigm does not equal man, nor does the feminine equal woman, in this post masculine and feminine refer to the two polar energetic principles and societal constructs that differentiate the two.
The Masculine Paradigm
Not limited to the individual, our culture and society also reflect either a masculine or feminine paradigm. The western world we currently live in presents us with a model of masculinity which is universal, dominant, and patriarchal. Most of us reading this will live in a masculine paradigm, and have for thousands of years. There are very few matrilineal cultures that currently exist in the world. In some areas of the world the masculine paradigm is exceedingly dominant and visible, where girl babies are left to die and women treated less than cattle, while in other ‘more developed’ societies the integration is more insidious, we’ve become so indoctrinated to the ways of institutions, systems and processes, competition for scarce resources, and ideas of success that we consider it the norm to be run by the masculine energy.
The concept of masculinity, as it shows in both the individual and to culture at large is associated with generalised social rules such as avoiding femininity and emotions, chasing success and status, rewarding aggressiveness and competition, the disconnecting sex from intimacy. The male and female sit at opposite ends of the descriptive spectrum’s, i.e. strong-soft; brave-vulnerable; rational-emotional; public-private; dominant-submissive; productive-reproductive; rational-intuitive, but in these binary pairs the female overwhelmingly holds the negative value, and the masculine the positive.
Domination and control over the feminine
If we look way, way back there was a time when the female goddesses were revered equal to, if not sometimes more than the masculine. When societies were more egalitarian. Prior to the Christian Era, the feminine was revered for the incredible creative power that she yields, the reproductive power that brings life. The feminine was the nurturer and carer of Mother Earth and humankind. However this reverence died off in the agrarian age, when the division of work into hunters and gatherers began. Patriarchal domination was further perpetuated by the church, when divinity was masculinised, and today the patriarchy is considered the unquestioned norm, insidious in all facets of life from the pathologising of pregnancy and birth, to the climate of fear around the economy.
The scales are now on starting to waver and there is a slow tilt towards a more balanced point of equilibrium, but this remains a slow and unsteady dance. The success of the masculine paradigm was and perpetuated by holding the feminine energy in check. And naturally we are increasingly faced with violent reactions from those who feel threatened by the (accurate) perception that their current position is one that is losing control.
One of the primary tools for patriarchal control is sex. Complexly illustrated in the taboo’s that developed around sex in the last millennia, the sexual repression in religious and other institutions, and today’s hyper-sexualisation seen in marketing and publicity, not to mention rampant physical and sexual harassment and abuse. Where once we would have had a healthy reproductive and sacred construction around sex we now have a definition that puts women in ‘her place’. Our bodies are used against us, the root of shame, sin and guilt, universally stunting her voice and diminishing her self-worth.
The effect is seen on both women and men
This is not to say that men are to blame. The masculine does not equal male. The paradigm is built on the energetic masculine values, not necessarily by men. Both men and women have been negatively affected by the dominant masculine patriarchy. We have all had to adjust to life in a masculine-aligned world instead of a world of harmonious opposites and equilibrium.
Regardless of our experience today, whether we grew up in conscious households and community we are all still born from generations of women who were not loved, embraced, seen or heard, and men who were not ‘allowed’ to tap into their feminine side. Thus, regardless of our lived experience we still have inherited wounds within us.
As such our understanding and embodiment of the feminine has become distorted, and we may express or suppress femininity in unhealthy ways.
We express and suppress femininity in UNHEALTHY WAYS
The affect on men can show up as a disconnection from emotions, a need to be in control, a fear of losing power, rigidity and dogmatism in his beliefs, shallow friendships, sexual perversity, a lack of intimate relationships, and an array of others.
The affect on women can show up in us embodying a warped version of the feminine.
The warped feminine looks like:
Seeking attention and validation from others
Being unable to connect to your inherent beauty
Placing high value on your external appearance, which is measured by impossible standards that ultimately destroy your self-esteem, leading to body shame
Being terrified of ageing, pursing eternal youth through skin care and diet regimes, without the reverence for nature’s cycles and the wisdom that is gained
Hiding a feeling of emptiness behind an idealised image of yourself
Becoming an expert at seduction and bewitchment
Manipulating relationships to create dependency and drama
Chasing and competing with other women and men for status, money, and power. This often looks looks like ‘success’ parading as modern-day feminism
These are all ultimately about low self-worth, a lack of self-love and an inability to sit in our truth.
It is more likely than not that everyone woman reading this can see parts of herself here at various times in her life. And if you so there’s no need to feel lesser than. We are ultimately part product of our upbringing.
But this now means that we have to dig deeply, and find our way to step into our worth.
Stepping into our worth requires us to all first recognise where the warped feminine resides within us
Because the feminine power has long been ignored or ridiculed stepping into our worth is easier said than done. We are used to feeling lesser-than, somehow incomplete, inferior, or lacking in many areas of life. Shrinking instead of blooming. For many we find it easier, and more acceptable, to step into our masculine energy,rarely leaving it to come home. For some we wear the mask of the masculine energy so well that we’ve lost touch with ourselves.
But it is only when we can fully embrace our feminine that we have access to the incredible power that lies dormant within us, to find our flow, to be open to receive, and to be able to create.
But first we must heal these old hurts.
To do this we need to begin by acknowledging the emptiness of the warped feminine. We must look at ourselves, our relationships, our lives and be honest. We must recognise the wounds we carry and how this shows up for us.
Once acknowledged and owned, only then can we release them. From there we access the spaciousness to soften into our truth and can begin to awaken the sacredness that is inside us, our feminine.
Perhaps this will look like a slow disentangling from the systems, structures, processes and political agendas that serve to dominate and dis-empower us, that leave us burnt-out and bitter. Perhaps this will see you seeking ways to find your fluidity and depth, engaging in a slow process of honouring yourself and embodying your feminine. The ways are us numerous as there are people, and you can read more here. The journey will be a unique one for each of us,but it will be worth it.
Only then will the world find the equilibrium, the beautiful harmony of masculine and feminine that it so needs.