Bodies and Fat Shaming
Imagine a world where we lived free of judgement about our bodies.
It’s nearly impossible in this world. A world that has long communicated that a woman’s self-worth is dependant on how attractive she is to men. This attractiveness having been informed by the beauty and fashion industries that set an ever-changing and unattainable ideal. We receive constant messages that convince as this ideal is actually attainable, and desirable, and information about the ways, products, and services we can employ to be more attractive, and in being more attractive, happier.
Diversity is not welcome in this world. Not really. We are all unique in our markings, scars, size, colouring, structure, and weight. But these distinctive elements that make us the unique individuals that we are, are deemed imperfections, and these imperfections are considered ugly and undesirable.
Perhaps most undesirable of all is excess weight.
Fat shaming is an insidious part of our upbringings. It continues sneaky and unnoticed, until we shine the light upon it.
I’m asking you to shine this light on your own upbringing, and inherited beliefs about weight.
Did your family consider ‘fatness’ to be unattractive, unhealthy, and unwanted?
Was another person’s weight an open topic for discussion?
Did you bear witness to passing comments such as “gosh, they’ve put on weight”, “they’ve let themselves go”, “don’t you get like that”, “I think you’ve had enough to eat don’t you?”, often said in hushed and mortified tones conveying disgust.
Are you guilty of fat shaming? I’m willing to be that you are.
Get honest with yourself. Have you ever:
Felt superior in comparison to someone that carries more weight than you?
Commented on another person’s body or weight?
Teased and/or made jokes about friends or family and their weight?
Viewed a slender frame as an attribute of success or happiness?
Considered your self-control with food or discipline with exercise, as worthy of celebration and a marker of self-worth?
Assumed personality, character traits, or morality based on another’s appearance and size? i.e. they are grossly overweight they must also be lazy, stupid, and lack self-control.
Offered well-meaning yet unsolicited advice to someone who is overweight on how to make healthier choices, in doing so assuming that weight is a lifestyle choice.
I know that I have likely been guilty of nearly all of these.
I’m not to blame.
This lies in a history of patriarchal suppression, in the beauty industry, in advertising, and unconscious upbringings.
But I am taking responsibility.
This is not the world I want my daughter to grow up in.
And I am asking you to take radical responsibility for your own part in this. Our bodies and our looks are not open topics of conversation. Health and fitness come in many forms. Fat is not gross. What a person looks like says next to nothing as to who they are inside.
Your value is not based upon your face or your body.
Your inherent and essential nature is what is beautiful, magnetic and desired.
Image via @hara_thelabel
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