Self worth
What is self-worth?
Self-worth is how we value ourselves and what we believe ourselves to deserve. It is completely subjective and flexible. However, many of us are not really aware of our self-worth, subconsciously however we find that this shows up in what we attract into our lives. So, the understanding of self-worth requires getting to understand what is in our subconscious mind.
What is our subconscious? The subconscious mind is a like a big hard drive that houses your beliefs, memories, feelings, thoughts and life experiences. It is largely developed from 0-25 years old during which time we take on societies norms on how we should be, and we develop ideas on how we perceive ourselves to fit in in regards to these standards.
We often aren’t even aware of the impact that our subconscious has on our life, but it is where our power lies. Your subconscious mind influences absolutely everything, from the partner you choose, to the jobs and personas you take on, your addictions, aspirations, and your behaviour in different situations.
Our self-worth is developed based on our sub-conscious and mostly on how we feel we did or did not live up to the perceived societal/familial/cultural expectations. If we feel like we did not live up to the ideal then we can begin to develop low self-worth.
You may not even be aware of what yardstick you use to measure your self-worth. But it's likely that deep down you know. It can be found in the fluctuations on how you’re feeling. Think to a time when you feel good and confident in yourself, where are you measuring up? Conversely when do you find your self-esteem plummeting? This is likely where you feel as though you've fallen short. Some ways we measure our worthiness in life are healthy, others less so. Some common unhealthy ways people measure there self worth include:
- Appearance: perhaps it is what size you are, or how beautiful you are told you are.
- Net Worth: your annual income, material possessions, size of your bank account, or a façade of worth you’ve created.
- Who you know: whether your in a relationship, or prone to name dropping, and surrounding yourself by important, popular or successful people.
- What you do: if your identity is tied to your job title or profession.
- What you achieve: your latest success
Instead of chasing things that temporarily boost your self-esteem, measure your self-worth by who you are at your core.
We all have self-worth. Do you know yours?
Here are some questions to ask yourself to work out your level of self-worth and ways to better understand your limiting beliefs.
Look at the people in your life: Everyone in your life is a mirror. Are your people loving, authentic and supportive? Or do they make you feel small? Are people using you, or are you treated well?
Work on this: Start saying no to those that are not reflecting high-self worth.
Take inventory of the parts of yourself you are hiding, in other words your shadow: Where do you subconsciously hide shame and pain? Are prone to judging others? Can you take compliments? This also often comes up as something you don’t like or can’t accept in another person. Carl Jung described this as psychological projection, in which a perceived personal inferiority of your own is seen as a moral deficiency in another.
Work on this: banish the shame, we are humans and all of us have both the dark and the light. When we recognise our shadow self we can integrate both sides and become more balance.
Do you find yourself feeling small, unimportant, not enough, or undeserving throughout the day? Take notice of what circumstances and thoughts trigger any feelings of unworthiness.
Work on this: remember it is your thoughtsabout yourself that create the feelings, not the situation.
Is your life everything that you desire? Where have you settled for less than you should have? Have you just accepted your relationship, career, house as it is, is it ‘good enough’ or do they actually meet your desire? Identify in what area you’ve settled for less and why you think you are not worthy of what you really desire?
Work on this: Identify the good and the lesson in what you have and be grateful for it, and then - start manifesting! Consider yourself on the path to getting your desire.
How would you describe yourself in 10 sentences?
Take some time for self-reflection, take yourself away from the bustle and really take a look inwards. Once you start to understand your subconscious and know yourself you can begin to reprogram your limiting beliefs. You’ll experience peace through life’s ups and downs and you will maintain belief in yourself despite what curve ball comes your way.