What to expect in circle?
What is a circle and what can you expect?
Have you never been to a 'circle' before? Are you intrigued, but hesitant? Totally understandable.
Sitting in circle is an ancient practice, where men, and women would gather to discuss. For women it was also used in sacred times paying respect to menstruation in close knit communities where women would often cycle in sync with each other and the moon. There are many different types of circles, healing circles, sacred circles, mystical circles, red tent circles, moon circles, etc.
A circle at Dorothy Way pays homage to the ancient practice but it is set in a modern tone and is for the modern everyday woman.
Sitting in circle is a fundamentally different way to communicating than in a workshop, in one to one, or in conversation between several friends. When we sit in circle we experience a stronger sense of community and every person is equal, supporting honest and authentic dialogue. We use simple structure, principles and practices to help hold the conversation. By being intentional about the way we engage with each other, and being responsible for the energy we bring into the space we can dramatically shift our interactions.
Each circle has a centrepiece which is to provide focus and beauty, as this is a time to celebrate you and to be surrounded by a warm and enticing atmosphere. Participants are welcome to something of meaning to add to the centre piece. The idea is that everyone’s voice is added to the centre, and it is from here that the wisdom of the participants will emerge. Once someone has spoken into the centre, their contribution becomes the property of the circle. The voices and stories become part of a growing and dynamic story and a pathway toward understanding. When all voices are in the centre, the circle has a way of surfacing what is true, what is needed, and what to do next.
A key principle here is that everyone feels completely safe and welcome to express themselves in authentic honesty. Confidentiality is an important element of this, we all respect and trust that what is said in circle stays in circle. The space is also held by embracing the principle of non-interference. A talking piece is used to provide each woman a chance to put their voice into the centre, and to be seen by others, however no one should not feel compelled to share when they do not feel emotionally safe to. This means that we simply welcome what people say without trying to influence them. If someone is in pain, we listen and allow simple listening to be a comfort; we do not try to take away their pain. If someone is confused, we simply listen and trust that in its own way the circle will provide clarification. If someone is angry we honour their anger. We don’t indulge in habitual psychological manoeuvres. We don’t directly correct, try to counsel, heal, or “fix” anyone’s experience in anyway. We simply listen. We may offer to share the way we addressed a particular situation, but no more.
In addition to respecting the talking piece there are several guidelines that we follow in circle.
1. We speak with intention and from the heart, talking about what is true for you based on your beliefs and experiences.
2. We listen with attention, compassion and curiosity. We are used to judging other people, often making assumptions without even realising. It is important to set aside any biases and any stories we may hold about the person, so we can really hear what they say. This opens up the possibility of discovering wonderful connections.
3. We are spontaneous with our words. We don’t mentally rehearse what we want to say and instead we listen with full attention to those that have the talking piece. We trust that we will know when and what to speak.
4. We contribute to the well being of the group – you are responsible for the energy you bring into the room. We acknowledge hardships, bad days and bad moods but we aim to leave the room on an energetic high.
5. We speak leanly, considering whether your words serve the circle. When we speak carefully with intent we say less words than what we normally would. This enables every woman to have sufficient time to be heard.
Would you like to know more? Read below for a step by step on how a circle runs.
Before you arrive:
As the facilitator I clear the energetic space and set the intention for the gathering.
Wear your comfy clothes, or clothes that make you feel GOOD, we do sit on the ground so dress accordingly, and we take off our shoes. You need not bring anything than yourself and an open mind and heart. If you feel inclined you can bring your favourite pillow to rest on although they are provided, and something meaningful or beautiful for the centerpiece for the circle, a blanket if it's cool, a pen and notepad to jot thoughts as they come, some water or a snack, or nothing at all.
As you arrive:
You are welcomed just as you are! Please be mindful and responsible for the energy that you bring into the space. Please take off your shoes, turn your phone to silent, put it away and choose your seat at the circle.
Opening the circle:
Once everyone has arrived, we spend a few moments to ground ourselves through breathwork. We will then do a round of introductions, a recognition of the women that came before us, and a quick check in where a simple question is put into the circle, and the talking piece is passed so that everyone in the circle can answer. I take this time to remind everyone of the guidelines, then we will set the intention for the circle and open the circle.
Circle: The theme is introduced and we will have a focusing question related to the theme. We use the talking piece and go around the circle giving respect and reverence to whatever each person chooses to speak of. During this we practice listening and we speak from the heart. There are no expectations on you to perform, or be, anything that you are. it is my role to make you feel comfortable and supported and to hold the space for all present. Having said that if you can drop down into your vulnerability and to share something on where you are at you will encounter a more profound experience. We may choose one or more activities or rituals to engage in during this time, such as journaling, drawing, removal of obstacles, choosing oracle cards, etc.
Closing the circle:
Before closing the circle we may be invited to make witness comments about anything you noticed during the circle time. We will then pass the talking piece clockwise and share a brief comment about their experience in the circle. We close with intention, and we will sit in breathwork or a guided meditation or relaxation exercise.
The practice is simple yet profound. The aim is that you leave feeling nurtured, nourished, connected and uplifted.
Why would you come to circle?
If you're seeking a place for self-care, a space for a soulful check-in, an opportunity for real connection, and want to dive into topics and themes that require more than a café conversation. It's a time to sit in company with like-minded women, to be heard and seen just as you are and to connect. Building authentic connections and finding your tribe are foundational for your health, your 'success', your BE.ing. There is so much wisdom and love to gain if you open yourself up to receive it.
A word on a new moon.
New moons are the most powerful time for intention setting, when we set aside some time for renewal and reflection, connect with our hearts, feminine intuition, and higher purpose, and get ready for a fresh start. It’s the perfect place to start.